Long Live The Gabitar – 7 More Years of Gaborik

If there is a downside to Marian Gaborik signing a 7 year, $34 million contract today, it is having to hear people say and write “yo gabbo gabbo” like mind numbed six year olds every time he scores. Luckily I have plenty of time to figure out how to stop it.

OK, so maybe there is a little bit of injury concern. I recall a time a few seasons ago when Justin Williams was just an injury waiting to happen and my concern lessens.

Gaborik may be just on rounding the corner of his prime years, but he has never been put in a better position to succeed in his 12 years of NHL action. As has been noted time and again since March, he is not the go-to force on the Kings, he is just another cog in a vicious wheel. Playing with Kopitar is not only magic for chemistry, but Kopitar also draws the majority of physical play to him, leaving Gaborik less likely to take the consistent punishment he did when he was top dog on the Wild and Rangers.

Gaborik is not a young man, but he is young enough so that this seven year contract carries no cap penalties if he decides to hang them up after 4 or 5 years.

Once you get past the injury history, the biggest concern for Gaborik spending seven years in Los Angeles is that he gets his dick caught in the wrong piece of Hermosa pussy. He may love the beach life, but handling its perks and parties is one of the challenges of playing in the sunshine.

This was the paragraph where I wrote about the cap implications, but then I deleted it because really, Lombardi and Solomon have this down to a science. They are not stupid. The Kings give their money to players who earn it in one way or another, whether it be Brown through leadership, Richards through playoff determination, or Gaborik through scoring, the Kings are a team to be envied in talent, character, coaching and management.

This would now be the paragraph where I say something about Corsi or Qualcomp as they relate to Gaborik and Kopi playing together but there isn’t a calculator stapled to my forehead or a child withering away from boredom leashed to my hip, so I don’t meet the requirements to talk about these things.

The best part of this deal? It comes on Brian Hayward’s birthday. What better present than seven more years of the Kings newest Duck killer.

So Go Kings and screw Hayward. Most of all Go Kings, but only by a little.