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As I Sit Here Naked, Thinking About Matt Greene…
Like the rumble of 570 horses beneath the hood. A smooth Aberlour, 16 year, neat. A right cross that lands flush on the jaw. And a woman who keeps her motor clean. I love Matt Greene. Surly called for...
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Kings @ Blues – Round 1 Game 1: A Familiar Scent
I’ve always wondered about those Colorado teams from the early 2000s, the ones that kicked our asses throughout the regular seasons and twice ended our playoff dreams. Did their fans hate the Kings as...
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Kings @ Blues Round 1 Game 2 – Fashionably Late
So we are down a game. Big whoop. The Kings did not play well as a team in game one. Little hasty with the passing, little slow with the forecheck, lotta hesitation on the shooting. They know how to...
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The Reports of Our Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated – L.A. Kings Win Game 3
It was a rough day. Coughing, hacking, trying to stay vertical and shake a fever. Taking my normally healthy diet into overdrive and self-medicating, I knew around 4:30 there was no way I was going to...
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“We Have to Win”…Incorrect Wrong Tyler
Tyler Toffoli’s words are incomplete. “We have to play like we have to win.” That’s it. Kopitar is playing like the starting center for the Slovenian National Team, Dustin Brown is in full pre-trade...
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‘Sup Kopi? Why You Be Illin’?
80′s flashback aside, what the fuck right? I won’t post the stats. I refuse to post the stats because when I read them, they piss me off. The number of goals divided by the number of games = shit. I...
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Pre-Fury, Preseason, Post Game Pontification. Kings Beat Ducks 2-1
If Darryl Sutter can turn Daniel Carcillo into a respectable fourth line wing, then please let’s put Sutter in charge of the Syrian thing, dealing with Iran, fixing the Middle East (you know it’s only...
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Minnesosorry. Kings Win 3-2 in Shootout
Rusty. Not just the Kings but me. It was tough getting my brain assimilated to the speed of a regular season game. I was behind the play until the third period but only because I got off the couch,...
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I Play My Best Hockey When ________
With a little free time on my hand, I cornered some of the players over the weekend as they were doing their thing at the practice facility and around the rink. I spent the two nights before fasting,...
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Well, Shit, I Hate Those Lines.
Dwight King – Anze Kopitar – Jeff Carter Dustin Brown – Mike Richards – Justin Williams Kyle Clifford – Trevor Lewis – Matt Frattin Daniel Carcillo – Jarret Stoll – Jordan Nolan That is just…awful....
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Kings Fist Stars, Justin Rules, Jamie Benn’s Brother Uglier than Jamie
Justin Williams is the right wing we wish we had at left wing. Daniel Carcillo makes me laugh and that’s okay so long as he doesn’t make me want to beat him with a goalie stick. Anze Kopitar is on pace...
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King Kong Kopi! Phoenix Remains Our Ugly Bitch
I prefer a 7-4 victory like this over a 4-0 shutout. Why? Because we smacked them around, gave them hope and then crushed them. Far more fun… Terry Murray wouldn’t have called that timeout. Anze...
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Shoot Kopitar. Score Kopitar.
Hard. Heavy. Penetrating. I’m referring to Anze Kopitar’s shot, you dummy. A goalie’s nightmare. Even when you see it, the velocity at which it moves makes you chase it. If it’s well placed, forget it....
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Tommy Wingels Is A Bogus Name
Seriously, who let this guy into the NHL with a goofy name like that? He needs the moniker version of shaving your head to go into the military. Everytime an announcer says “Tommy Wingels” I have to...
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Long Live The Gabitar – 7 More Years of Gaborik
If there is a downside to Marian Gaborik signing a 7 year, $34 million contract today, it is having to hear people say and write “yo gabbo gabbo” like mind numbed six year olds every time he scores....
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L.A. versus San Jose Pregame: Fish and Guests.
Kings versus Sharks, December 27, 2014, 7:00pm start, Staples Center Hot Our power play. Our Corsi (pfft, what?). Marian Gaborik. Kopitar’s play making. Jeff Carter’s all around game. Cold Gap control....
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Anze Kopitar Doesn’t Seem to Get It But Should The Kings Reward Him For It?
This post is going to piss a lot of people off. That’s not why I’m writing it. I am doing so because for an entire season, I have seen one of the allegedly best (and most underrated) players in the NHL...
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It Rests On Quick, Kopitar and Brown…and Perhaps Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson is an amazing woman. In my dream last night, she did amazing things. I also dreamed of the Kings and, upon awakening, am persuaded so much of the Kings’ chances of making the...
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If Anze Kopitar Only…
Drove the seam on the rush, to the net, instead of to the outside. Kept his feet moving, kept skating when he crossed the offensive zone blue line. Those feet stop moving, he glides, I die inside....
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A Surly Response To Scribe On The Subject Of Anze Kopitar
As you’ve likely read by now, my hockey companion, my writing partner and my friend, Bobby Scribe – the once self-proclaimed “humble founder” of the Kopitarian faith – has suggested the Kings trade...
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